why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
