wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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