Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
