dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
