You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is the high leading the old right now
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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