Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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