How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Vodka?
Forever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
