I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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