You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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