Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
