We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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