TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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