i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
