Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
