It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
