she peed on how many people?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
