Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
