fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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