I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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