i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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