sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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