Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
