my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
