Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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