the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
