I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We left the knife in your bed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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