Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
