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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Sucks about the cops last night

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..

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• (713): View more from Texas

  He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.

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• (661): View more from California

  God gave him joint rollers for hands

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• (516): View more from New York

  Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Can you see in?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Better not shit yourself at the gym.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Please don't give away my fajitas

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Interlocking vagina powers go!!'

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?

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