Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As shirtless as possible
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
