So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
