i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
