There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
