he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also, beer. Big fan.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize