***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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