I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
