They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
