Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
