so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
