Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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