Do you still have your period?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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