Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
