I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
