WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
