He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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