tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think your dad took our porno
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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