You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
