he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize