TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
