Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
