All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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