hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Vodka?
Forever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
