No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
