i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
