She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize