Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
